Lost in Translation

Today I had a patron who wanted to type something in MS Words. When she asked what our computers used I informed her that they have Word on them.

Her: "Is that Words?"

Me: It's Word.

Her: "Is that what I need?" (shows me the paper where she has written MS Words)

Me: "I'm not sure. It will probably work if you save it as a rich text file (.rtf)."

Her: "Would I have it on my computer at home?"

Me: "I'm not sure. Works is pretty basic and would probably work."

Her: "But you don't have Words?"

Lowdown Dirty Dog Theif

A mouse has been stolen from our computer. What kind of person steals a computer mouse???? A mean one, that's who. We are now down to three computers for public use.

On another note, we just had a man come in to see if we had any computers available for use. No, they were all in use. He just decided he'd go to library X because they have more computers anyway. Duh, of course they do. Library X is part of a very large system and is one of the larger libraries in that system. They have a lot more money to spend on computers. I wonder sometimes if people think they are insulting us by telling us about how other libraries have more stuff.

We know. Remember, we's the ghetto library.

Thy Perfume Offendeth

I am overwhelmed by the fragrance of a loud and obnoxious perfume at the moment. We can't seem to get a balance between those who will not bathe and decide to stink so the rest of us will know they are conserving water and those who feel that cologne is a good mask and replaces a bath.

I don't like strong scents anyway. I'm a soap and water kind of girl who just wants to smell clean. Here is my thought for the day.......


YOU DO NOT SMELL PRETTY WHEN I CAN SMELL YOUR PERFUME BEFORE YOU ENTER THE LIBRARY!

Does your computer have....?

The following story took place yesterday in my library. Picture it...the three o'clock rush has just begun and the third child (7th grade) has come in to use the computer. Her teacher has given her an assignment to report on the California Wildfires. Of course the child does not have a library card and needs me to log her onto the computer.

Her: I need some stuff about them fires.

Me: In California?

Her: Yeah, does your computers have the internet?

Me: Yes.

Her: Where do I find the fire stuff?

Me: I'd just go to Yahoo! News, news.yahoo.com or cnn.com.

Her: How do you spell CNN?

Me: Um, C-N-N

Her: cmn

Me: No, C-N-N.

Her: cmm

Me: No, C-N as in Nickel.

Her: Oh, cnm.

Me: No. C-Nickel-Nickel

Her: cnn

Me: Yes, now type .com

Her: .om

Me: No.... .com

Her: .moc

Me: .com It has to go in that order.

Her: Oh, my nails get in the way of typing. (she gets to the correct site) There's a picture I need.

Me: That's not in California. That's a beach house fire in one of the Carolinas.

Her: That's okay I can use it.

Okay, so now I'm sitting at my desk telling the kids who are waiting for the computer that they must wait when I see her leaving and ask if she is finished.

Her: No, I've got to go get a drink (not allowed in the library) from the store. I'll just come back and use it.

Me: You have to sign back up and wait your turn.

Her: Okay.

She brings her drink back in the library. I run her out of the library. Every time a computer comes open she wants to get on and I repeat that she must wait her turn. Finally the moment comes and I have to log her back on. She is heartbroken to learn that she only has 12 minutes left on the computer because our computers are shut down from our main library. I'm now logging other children on the computer.

Her: Hey! Hey! I can't get on that page. What was it? (I'm ignoring her because I'm helping someone else.) Hey!

Me: I'll be with you when I'm finished helping this patron. Now, how may I help you?

Her: conn.com ain't working for me.

Me: CNN.COM take out the O!

Her: Oh.

I try to walk away but she calls me back.

Her: I can't get to what I was on before. We go back to where she was and she gets upset because she can't find anything she needs. I point out to her links to a bunch of stories and her reply is, "But what do I print?"

Me: Whatever you need but you have to pay for anything you print.

I can't believe my mom reads that!

No, my mom would not be caught dead reading anything about thugs or gangstas. However, a woman came in the other day and requested some racy titles. When the books came in she sent her kids in to get them. The girls were both dressed in private school uniforms and looked at the books and said, "I can't believe she's reading that!" It was totally priceless. I would love to have heard the conversation that occurred when they got in the car.

Oops! The Movie Store sign fell off the building.

Preach on! I just read this article and think it is absolutely true. We get people all the time complaining because we charge $1.00 per day per DVD if they are late. They fuss because we don't have 75 copies of the newest movies. "I'm sorry...did the sign say 'Movie Renting Place' when you came in? I don't think so."

And you managed it how?

Now, there are many things in life that disturb me. One of which is a family called the MacNasty's. They almost look like a serious case of inbreeding. There's Mama MacNasty, Daddy MacNasty, and Junior MacNasty. Junior can do no wrong. This is one of the families who brought baby Jr. in one week before school started complaining about the summer reading list because Jr. was too busy to read. One day last week Jr. stayed out of school and got to come to the library with Mama & Daddy MacNasty. He checked out a book about sex and growing up. Mama MacNasty was very displeased by this and asked why. Jr. told her that it's because she hadn't explained it very well to him. In the middle of the library (where no one can hear you) she tells Daddy MacNasty that he needs to explain it better to Junior. Ewww......gross! I definitely did not want that mental image.